


Time to say goodbye

by Thesilentone



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, Other, Terminal Illnesses, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22103722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesilentone/pseuds/Thesilentone
Summary: It was time for them all...
Relationships: Gordon Tracy/Virgil Tracy, John Tracy & Virgil Tracy, Scott Tracy/Virgil Tracy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. My name is Holly but I go by thesilentone. I have loved the thunderbirds since I was a child and I'm even more in love with them now in this remake. This is actually my first time writing for these characters in this fandom, but having seen so many stories that I love and follow I wanted to try it for myself. This is also my very first death fic. I am so sorry that I decided to do so here, but looking at it like this, at least after I'm done and I have broken everything, at least you'll probably hate me less for what I done and have ample reason for me not to return. This is also the first time I have started from the near ending and going in reverse. So while this is final, I have other parts I want to do which will put this full circle and hopefully make some sense.
> 
> This is also my first fic in about four years that I have posted, I recently lost my desire and thought what better way to get it back than by killing off a character?!?!
> 
> This fandom I have interacted with as an observer and has been immensely kind to its creators here and I'm hoping it could be extended a little bit to me. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this note and for maybe having an interest in this. I have literally just wrote this and posted so if there are mistakes, they are mine and mine alone and I apologise in advance. 
> 
> I hope to have written the next part later in the week, I'm looking at around seven chapters in all but that's a vague estimate. Thanks so much again. Sorry to depress anyone out there and happy new year to you all!! ^_^
> 
> Comments of any kind are welcome and I'll try my best to respond and answer questions if or any come up.

Time to say goodbye. 

Full disclaimer applies. I don't own the thunderbirds, the characters or their world. Nor do I intend to profit from them. All rights belong to the Anderson Estate. 

It finally came down to this.  
Here he was sitting down on the barely warm sand, the fine grains shifting through his hands while he watches the last rays of the sun in the sky. 

He was angry, angry and sad and disappointed but he understood. Understood that his brother had enough. He fought all this time and was still fighting but he only had so much left and he knew that he couldn't do it forever. He knew all of this, deep in his very marrow but that didn't stop the anger, the burning behind his eyes as he willed himself to not cry, not giving himself that release. Not yet anyway. 

A pair of feet shuffling through the beach disrupted his anguish, albeit temporarily. He didn't need to know who it was, nor did he question it. He just waited until he sat beside him, grunting a little before settling down. He wanted to say something, anything that would break this hellish situation but knew that nothing would. Nothing could, and how can it? His world was ending. It was and yet…. 

"I know that whatever I say, however I say it won't end the pain that will be left behind. But please know that I never wanted my life to end this way. It was never my intention to leave a gaping hole that would probably never heal completely. But I'm tired and I wanted to come home, not to be in a building full of strangers with well intentions who care for my well being but not really knowing who I am, all of the things that make me, me . I just want you to know that I know you're angry and have every right to be. I won't ask for your forgiveness but know that I forgive any and all things that you will or will not say. However long or short this will be. Whether you scream and shout or give me the cold shoulder. I will always love you. I love you and my life and everything we accomplished and I always will. Whatever happens next, I have no regrets other than leaving you all behind."

God this was making it harder. It was hard anyway but this? This was the first time he had felt and tasted defeat and it was tearing him apart. It was tearing them all apart and yet they knew it would, knew it was coming and it was here. And how he wished it wasn't. He wanted more time, time for himself, for his family, their friends. For his brother….. 

"Scott?" 

And that voice. That amazing deep, soulful voice that he could never forget. That voice that hasn't lost any of its timber, its strength. He had been speaking and laughing and crying all throughout this past week and yet there was barely a rasp, a break in it and God if had a list of things he's gonna miss, that voice is right at the top. 

Clearing his own throat and finally allowing his tears to fall, Scott turned to his brother and with a watery smile spoke. What he wanted to say, what he was going to say would be spontaneous and how could it not be? These were possibly be he last words, his last second, minute, hour, day, god he hoped, month with him and above all else he knew this. No matter how long he had with him, not one inch of that borrowed time did he want it to be in silence. He had so much, so, so much he wanted to say and do, but he knew his time was limited. He and his brothers. 

"I remember as clear as day the moment you were born. My first thought was ' I'm a big brother. A big brother who is now in charge of this little bundle of human flesh and bones and what the hell am I supposed to do?!' I hadn't the foggiest of ideas and yet it felt as easy as breathing. Everything just came to me and right then and there I knew, despite being young, I knew that I was going to be ok . I was going to do the best I can and looking back now, all these years and three more brother's later I knew I had it down pat. It all started with you. And now, now this is ending. Its ending and I can't, can't think of anything but wanting more. I need more and I know I can't have it. I want to be in the sky with you again. More than that I need to be able to save you. I know, God do I know I can't but I need it man, I need that so much. Why? Why do we feeble creatures aim so high for barely the significant things but when we want we really, really want, it can never be? How do you expect me to go on? How?... "

And was the crux of the problem. He could go on, he had to, for his father, his grandma, kayo, lady penelope, Brains and his brothers. It didn't make this easier though and his little brother knew that too. 

Gingerly uncurling himself and allowing Scott to wrap an arm around his shoulders, still as strong as ever, even if they were stiff at times, he laid his head against Scott's clavicle and with a sharp, deep breath spoke. 

"I want more too. But I got an extra two and a half more years and I'm not selfish enough to ask for more. I don't think I have the right to ask for more. Knowing that people with the same diagnosis and estimated time of survival received far less. It would be easy to just let go wouldn't it? To just fade away from existence with me. But Scott? It will get easier, it will never be the same and I know it never will be, but you'll find a new normal. We had to when we thought we lost dad. But to then find him after eight years and having to readjust our lives to compensate for his return, we struggled to reintegrate him back into our routine when we spent so long without him there and we all know we hit a through curbs along the way but we managed it ok. It's not going to be an easy fix but I know you can. I know because when you were getting a handle on having one little brother, years went by and three more came your way and you didn't falter. You had some missteps but you never faltered, not once. You need to do that now. Now that I can't help you find your footing anymore."

Scott felt it more than he saw. His brother was leaving them. He was leaving them much sooner than he had liked but he knew that he couldn't ask him to hold on. To wait while he got the others. He had morphine coursing through his veins to help him sleep and just get through the day but he was at his limits and if Scott could be just a bit selfish, he was glad that his brother's last few moments were for him and him alone. He was there when he came into the world. He was immensely proud that he would be here to see and feel him leave it. 

Bringing his other arm around and using his hand to cup his face, Scott allowed himself to bury his face in hair that had remarkably grew back, and let his tears fall into his scalp, all the while the hand holding his brothers face softly stroked his pale skin and with murmured words that he knew would be heard, gave his brother and order, one he wished he didn't have to but knew that it would be accepted with no small amount of relief. One he knew needed to be given, and given with a heavy heart and broken soul.

"Its ok. Its ok Virgil, you can let go now. Let go and know that I love you and that I'm proud of you. But rest now little brother, I've got you. You can go now if you want. You can."

One exhale, followed by a deeper, shakier one and his brother did exactly that. 

He let go. 

TBC


	2. John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could do what he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all.  
> Hope I haven't broke all of us yet.   
> I literally just wrote this last night and finished it right now, so again all mistakes are mine and mine alone. 
> 
> I hope you all are enjoying this soul crushing fic, I am adding humour but it probably won't be enough. 
> 
> I'm enjoying myself immnesly and I'm hoping you are all too.
> 
> Thanks for your comments and kudos, they very welcome. 
> 
> Here's the next part, hopefully I'll have the next one up soon. 
> 
> ^_^

Time to say goodbye part 2. 

Full disclaimer applies. I don't own the thunderbirds, the characters, it's word. Nor do I intend to profit from it. All rights belong to the Anderson estate. 

Five years ago….. 

It was getting tedious. He knew it, they all knew but it couldn't be helped. This was mandatory and he and his kin just had to suck it up and just deal. It didn't help that he had a killer headache and that Gordon now of all times decided to regress into a four year old. It also didn't help that Alan decided to follow his example. He painfully remembered how they were when they were that age, and judging from the matching grimaces on both Scott's and John's faces, neither one were looking forward to strolling down this particular memory lane. 

"Why are we even here?!? Dad's back so he could deal with all of this. So why are we the ones here while he gets to chill back home? It's our time off in a long time so why?!" 

And now Gordon was whining. He was whining and causing not so subtle glances being aimed right at them. Not that it was anything new, they were all very much known but having people stare at you because a grown man had started whining was definitely a new one. 

Alan had started up but at this point in time Virgil just filtered his voice out.   
It was an annual meeting for the board and various other corporate types and their father had decided since none of them were getting any younger and possibly wouldn't be able to maintain their physique required to run a rescue outfit twenty to thirty years down the line, the boy's needed to see the financial and business side of IR. It went without saying that none of them were jumping at the bit to get here, but they theorised that the sooner they attended, made their rounds, mingled with those of importance, the sooner they could go back into hiding.

This mantra was making its rounds in his head but that wasn't stopping his headache from getting progressively worse as the function started picking up speed. 

"You know, I could get EOS to blow a fuse just down the road, which theoretically could be enough to take out the power grid we are in."

He had to snort at that. Of all things for John to come up with, to sabotage this evening and get them out, a block wide blackout wasn't one of them. Still, as satisfying as that would be, Virgil begrudgingly admitted that their father was right, they weren't exactly old but they knew they couldn't sustain this when they hit their prime. So they might as well find out what funds their job, their equipment and their retirement funds. With no small amount of regret, Virgil merely shook his head negatively and listened as his younger brother pulled up a chair at their reserved table and kept his company. 

"Scott has been to a couple of these and I often wonder why he mumbles about uptight rich folks who were so self entitled when he does maintenance on his bird. Now I know why."

"Yeah. Well considering that all of this will eventually be his, I can't say I blame him. I know that we'll get a percentage of the holdings but this is his and dad's mainly. I'm just glad they moved this to once every two years with stipulation that we send reports and accounts on a bimonthly basis otherwise we would really be needing an escape plan. I just wish Gordon would stop and breath a little. You know he was moaning the whole way here right?"

" Yep, I didn't have it so bad since he was sitting directly opposite you. But you and your ears have my sincere apologies and gratitude for putting up with him and not strangling him with his tie. As appealing as that may have been."

Virgil couldn't help it. He laughed. Laughed loud enough and hard enough that he was gripping his sides while his head loudly hit the table, causing the glasses on top to shake. John was looking well amused with himself but soon the jovical air slowly evaporated when Virgil immediately groaned. 

"You ok? You took a pretty good whack to the head a few days ago. We ruled out concussion but still, maybe you should've stayed at home. We could easily have handled this."

Slowly sitting up and running a hand down his face, Virgil barely contained a wince when he shook his head at John's concerns.

It was monsoon season which meant rockslides and unstable buildings. They had been called out to deal with any and all issues caused by mother nature, and predictably and unfortunately a small boulder came tumbling down just as they were getting somewhere, followed by more and smacked Virgil and his pod over.   
He had just enough time to close the pod door and secure Gordon before he and the machine were struck with rocks. He was trying to catch a breather and was chatting away with his brother who was in the machine and didn't have the time to replace his helmet. Twenty minutes later and a concerned older brother had him sitting out the rest of the cleanup while he nursed a bumped and bruised head with an ice pack. 

"I'm fine. It's an annoyance but it's fine. If you could do me a favour and keep this away from Scott, I'd appreciate it. This is going to be challenging enough without adding more to his plate. Besides I bought some painkillers just in case. I'm good John. Really."

John had by now knew when good and injuries were mixed into a conversation never ended well. However, he also knew when to leave it be. Virgil had been right though, this was going to be a long affair and they all needed to get through this with as little fanfare as possible. 

Hopefully……. 

He was right. Annoyingly so but Virgil was right. The evening came and went with all the usual pomp and circumstance with a bunch of billionaires under one roof and finally they could retire to their hotel, ready to leave the next day.

He just wished that the months that followed never happened. That Virgil was just experiencing standard fatigue, hell even the flu. But not this…. 

Never this…. 

Rescues came and went. The days and weeks when they had a blessed reprieve came and went and John was finding himself down at Tracy Island more and more now that their father had been found.   
Though either in bed or on one of the many chairs, Jeff Tracy was as youthful looking as ever, the years in space had definitely weakened the man some but he definitely had the Tracy backbone as their grandma had coined it. But no amount of hardwired determination could stave off the imminent. No matter how much they wanted it to. 

John could painfully recall the day their little moments of bliss were forever taken away. 

By multiple doctors appointments and one to end it all. 

Cancer. The big C. The life taker. 

At first they thought it was fatigue. at one point Virgil thought he might be having a stroke, as ridiculous as that even seemed. Another time he thought he was coming down with a bug and that his subsequent lack of appetite followed by nausea was just that. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he had end stage cancer. Never did John believe that he would be burying his thirty year old brother. 

Ct scans, blood samples, MRI all came back with the big C and not one of them would believe it. They knew that environmental risk can play a part in its creation. They also knew that personal choices could factor in it as well. But Virgil never went camping in a radioactive mine, nor did he smoke. The fact that a very healthy young man has contracted such a disease wasn't making sense. And yet it was an unmistaken truth. 

There was denial all around until Virgil just asked them to stop and leave it be. Calls had been made, first to Lady Penelope then to Colonel Casey. They had just as much right to know that they were losing someone. 

Hospital appointments came and went. With the exception that Alan wasn't to go by Virgil absolutely refusing to allow his baby brother to bear witness to the fallout, each brother took it in turns to accompany Virgil's chemotherapy sessions. As each session came and went, so did the finality of his passing. The drugs were working, they were doing what they were supposed to do. Kill of the mutated cells but honestly John couldn't decide what was worse, the fact that poison was being injected into his big brother's body, or the symptoms that went with it? 

They all out of morbid curiosity wanted to know what to expect. The usual was lost of appetite, which then bought on weightless, which then bought on fatigue, vomiting and nausea. Then the cycle broke and then repeated during the next session.   
But what really stood amongst all of this for John was when Virgil knocked on his door with a pair of clippers and a trashcan and a wordless question. John just smiled sadly, wrapped an arm around still firm shoulders and sat Virgil on his bed, gently taking the clippers out of his hand and noticing a few locks of black hair nestled in between firm fingers. Placing the bin between open legs, John stood to shut his door and for the next thirty minutes all that was barely heard was the sound of quiet buzzing as John began to shave his brothers head. 

It felt like a lifetime ago when Virgil came to his room, it felt even longer when surprisingly after yet another appointment that Jeff came home looking even more downcast if possible and spoke the fateful words. 

'It's not getting any better. The chemo is barely keeping up and we, that is the doctor and Virgil have decided to end treatment. Virgil wants to come home and spend whatever time he has left here. With us, without any pain. He's had enough.'

It was an agonising three and a half years watching Virgil waste away right before their eyes but John understood. His family, especially Scott wanted Virgil to keep going, to keep fighting. Gordon wouldn't allow Virgil to just give up and refused to accept that he wanted to just be. Consequently Gordon had refused to spend anytime with Virgil and it was wise words from both penny and their grandma that turned him around. That Virgil had given everything and more to his fight but he just couldn't sustain it. He had enough. 

John had seen countless stars burn bright, burn fiercely before collapsing in on themselves and knew that Virgil was on the brink of doing so himself. It was kinder this way, the doctor called each of them individually and personally to tell them that there would be no more pain. It was easier to just stop then prolong the damage. Virgil's immune system was shot to hell, a common cold had him bedridden for three weeks. He needed whatever strength he had left and this was the only way he could get it. Not hooked up to machines and being dosed with radioactive material which was enough to power a small machine. He needed peace. 

It was painfully familiar to see Virgil walking around looking lost, but he had to admit he looked good and wearing a beanie hat suited him. Gordon made it up by buying various types, some had gimmicks, some were colourful. Today's one was green, just like his bird. It even had multiple number two's printed on, both spelt and not. John knew for a fact that Gordon had that specially made and John would treasure Virgil's laughter and smile upon receiving it forever. 

Though he often questioned why he was wearing one though. Virgil's hair had grown back a little, judging by the little bit sticking out at the front and underneath, but then hard science and a reality check taught him that his brother was most likely cold. How he wished he could wrap him up and stow him away, but that wouldn't do anyone any favours. Least of all his brother. 

It was nearing midnight and most of the residents were either in bed or on their way to sleep but it was hard to come by. When their dad had told them that Virgil wanted to be at home, every single person here fought tooth and nail to spend as much time as possible with the man, out of sheer desperation and fear that the next morning maybe he last, Virgil had grown tired and fed up with all the fussing and point blank told them that he had at least two to three years left and that if he were to kick the bucket, as he so elegantly put it, he wanted it to be organic feeling, not tinged with anymore regret. 

John, more than anyone knew how claustrophobic the feeling could be to have all of them converge on one spot, so he wasn't surprised when Virgil joined him in his mandatory stargazing before he retired. 

"I wished I had spent as much time as you do watching the night sky. I spend so much time in the air that I forget about the vastness of it, the pure simplicity of such a big universe. It certainly puts things into perspective."

"Hmm. Although I understand why you don't. You spend every waking moment wondering when a call comes in that when it does, you have no time to really enjoy it. But it's not too late to see our galaxy."

Without even waiting for his brother to respond, John pulled away the blanket conveniently placed by his side and revealed what was underneath it. A collapsible telescope. 

Gently wrapping the blanket around Virgil, John set about with his equipment and when he was done he angled it upright, allowing Virgil to see what he had seen a million times in his current position.   
It took a few minutes but eventually Virgil was able to see above the far reaches of the earth. He could clearly make out the moon as if he were flying by in Thunderbird three with Alan. He could also see Jupiter and just make out Saturn. It truly was breathtaking. 

"I wished there wasn't much space pollution, you could see the entire solar system, Unfortunately I don't have a stronger scope. But I hope this is enough."

Smiling without averting his gaze, Virgil just admired the view and the company. 

It seemed surreal that his stargazing with his big brother was merely three days ago. Everyone was off doing whatever it was they wanted to. IR had been shut down until further notice, the family didn't have the heart to save the world while one of them were in the process of leaving it. Of course that led to an uncomfortable discussion regarding what happens next.   
Virgil had more than enough right to decide and had suggested that Gordon was to take the helm of Thunderbird two. He had garnered enough flying time with him, not to mention that he was his copilot. He also suggested that Alan went with him if Thunderbird four was needed and that Thunderbird three wasn't. Virgil had pointed out he would've given the task to Scott but he was way too attached to his own bird. That, and he didn't want Scott blowing up his lady for anything, that left their elder brother scowling, the two youngest clutching their sides in laughter and their father and grandma respectively trying to calm everyone down. Only after the laughter had died had Virgil drag Scott out of the room to try and placate the man, although they all knew that his pride would eventually recover. After all, Scott never could refuse Virgil. 

The sun was making its last appearance on their side of the hemisphere when John went to hunt down his two eldest. Virgil had compassionately told him that when he was gone that he would be the one the others looked up to, that he would be needed now more than ever for their family. That he needed to keep an even sharper eye on Scott, to not let him lose his way, to be there for him in ways that he no longer can, even more so than normally.  
Virgil had also told him that he would be forever proud of the way he handled everything, both professionally and personally. John wasn't a touchy feely type of guy but he couldn't help but give him a long, fierce but loving hug, and Virgil gladly without question or hesitation, easily reciprocated. 

And that's why it hurt even more now then all those borrowed moments he had.   
He knew what had transpired and knew that he would be haunted by the scene in front of him for a long while yet. 

Scott was holding his brother as tightly as possible. He was holding him as if he didn't want to let go. 

Allowing his tears to fall, John had to let his dad know. 

"Dad? Dad, he's gone."

Closing his comm, John made his way to his brothers. 

He had a promise to keep. 

TBC.


	3. Gordon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only he could fly up here forever with him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.  
> I'm immnesly enjoying myself and I can't say that I'm not ashamed of what I'm doing. I regret everything and nothing but I'm having fun so, meh.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and hits this is getting, it's nice to see that you are interested in me killing a fan favourite character.... I'm so very sorry BTW. 
> 
> 'I love Virgil so it had to be done' , says every writer when telling a story with their personal favourite characters, but it's true. I couldn't picture this with another one so here it is.
> 
> I have tried to inject some humour in this but if it falls flat on its face oops and sorry. Again. I have also added little easter eggs from prior episodes so it at least follows the main story. 
> 
> I've also took liberty in regards to certain details regarding the boys and their toys but hit me up if you dissaprove or the like. 
> 
> Again, this has been written then posted, so mistakes are mine and mine alone. 
> 
> Thanks again, sorry for a long winded note, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I'm in the process of getting the next one started, oh and their are other interactions coming but it wouldn't accept my tagging. 
> 
> Without further ado, here's the next part.  
> Enjoy and comment if you want. 
> 
> ^_^

Time to say goodbye part 3.

Full disclaimer applies. I don't own the thunderbirds, their characters or their world, nor do I intend to profit from. All rights belong to the Anderson estate. 

Five years ago. 

Gordon could count on one hand the amount of time he had spent with his family that didn't involve a rescue or training. It very rarely happens and when it did he genuinely had the best time. Although it was usually comes with the added bonus of either winding them up or throwing out really bad jokes, if the constant groaning from Virgil was anything to go on. 

Still, as boring as he knew this event was going to be there was an upside to it. 

She was roughly five foot minus the heels, she had an outrageously great infinity with pink and the cutest pug to die for.  
Lady Penelope could make anything better, even being trapped in a booby trapped, hundred year old pyramid. 

God, she really did make everything better, even his brothers constant teasing over his new romance couldn't dim his appreciation of the woman. Man, did he ever get lucky? 

"Why don't you go and talk to her? It's amazing that she hasn't felt your eyes burning the back of her head. Just go over already. You look completely love sick."

OK he'll admit but only once. Virgil had a point. He was being ridiculous and unashamedly had been staring at the aristocrat. But he couldn't help himself, he was unbearable bored and the scenery was grating on his last nerve. Only Penelope seemed to brighten the dull walls that surrounded them. 

Feeling a hand landed on his shoulder, Gordon was surprised see Virgil looking at him with sadness in his eyes. 

"Virgil?"

"We have all had our close calls and it's no exaggeration to tell you that you scared all of us during your crash. But Lady Penelope kept calling and checking in whenever she could. Go to her, she's worth it, and so are you."

One with one more squeeze to his shoulder, Virgil was manhandling him, dragging him up and off their table, excused the patrons surrounding their agent and soon it was as if their world had faded away to just the two of them. 

A man with squid sense and a British lady who outshone every woman present. 

How he wished that night would last forever…. 

These chairs were ridiculously comfortable. But considering why they were here, it wasn't exactly unexpected. Gordon had started using that party and it's events to try and distance himself from where he was, why he was here and who he was here with. Don't get him wrong, he was proud to be here and he was so, so proud of him also, but it still hurts every time and he needed a dream to escape, albeit temporarily. 

His brother had not so long ago fallen asleep but he knew that wasn't going to last long, so far his records had been twenty minutes napping then waking up only to vomit, which then proceeded to him curling up like an oversized cat on a way too small a chair and willing away the nausea.. It never worked but it was the only thing he had. 

This was the fifth appointment he had accompanied Virgil and Gordon remembered as clear as day the moment Scott came back on the very first one. He was pale, just as pale as his sick brother and he didn't want to speak or eat with anyone. He just wanted to get Virgil settled in and stayed by his bedside for as long as he was needed. It took a few hours but eventually Scott emerged, only to find a sandwich and a bottle of beer waiting for him. That, and a worried Gordon who was silently asking him to talk about it. 

'It's a lovely hospital. Great staff who genuinely care for their patients in such a grim setting. Buts it's not the endless number of patients being treated at the same time that got to me. Hell it wasn't even the image of seeing the IV' s being set up and the cocktail being administered, or the boredom of sitting there for hours on end but needing to be there for every second.  
It's the helplessness as slowly but surely, each person inevitably start puking their guts up. It's sitting there and being unable to do anything but rub a hand down his back as he throws up what little he has in his stomach.

It's holding his hand as the pain kicks in and knowing you can't do a damn thing about it. It's wanting to rip the IV out and throwing it across the room to try and ease his pain, but knowing that it's the very thing that's helping him to get better. It's watching him trying to find some way to cope and not knowing how.  
God, you need a way to cope Gordon. Because there is nothing you can do.'

Scott ate and drank as if he were a man marooned on a desert island. He just threw his bottle away, placed his plate in the sink and strolled over to grab a bottle of water for his brother without uttering another word. Leaving Gordon wondering how he was going to deal with this come tomorrow.  
Standing up, he went to wash Scott's plate before heading to bed himself. Judging by his brothers appearance, he's going to need all the sleep he can get…. 

Gordon watched as the first signs of Virgil awaking kicked in and he wasted no time in getting the bin ready for the inevitable vomiting. Virgil just had enough time to right himself before he was retching away. A nurse came by with some wet wipes while removing the bin and replacing it with a clean and empty one. Virgil looked up a little as Gordon took the wipes and began cleaning up his face. Grabbing another wipe, Gordon mopped up his sweaty forehead before unscrewing a bottle of water for him. 

"Here you go. Figured you might wanna wash your mouth out. That can't be too pleasant huh?" 

"Ugh. It's not the taste that bothers me anymore, it's the gag reflex. I've been dealing with the puking but not so much my stomach rolling in rebellion to it. The water does help though so thanks."

Gordon could only watched on as Virgil took off his boots and proceeded to try and get himself comfy. Virgil was a mass of muscle still, even chemo hadn't completely ravage his physique yet. Though he had moments when he couldn't do anything, the man still had his strength. Which made this situation a little funnier, the chairs were fairly large and yet Virgil, for all his muscle, still looked rather small and fragile curled up. Scott even commented on that one saying that he looked like an adult tiger sitting on a wooden chair. 

Grabbing a nearby blanket, Gordon gently wrapped it around his brother, careful to avoid the IV and its pole in which the machine was tethered too. Gordon's brown eyes navigated the tubing that was nestled in and around Virgil's wrist and elbow. He could pinpoint the exact place the chemicals entered his body, all the way up his arm to the thin skin in the crook of his elbow. Looking up, Gordon wasn't surprised to see matching eyes staring at him intently. There was something he wanted to ask him and now was a good as time as any. 

"That business function we went to five years ago. The one where you dragged me over to Lady Penelope. Why did you look sad? What was that about?" 

"...... We spend our time jumping straight into danger, never really respect that at that very moment we could lose it all. Gordon, I've seen you be in love with that woman for so long, it was about time you two stopped dancing around the fact and live. Now more than ever I can appreciate being with someone and your going to need her now more than ever. Love is a powerful thing Gordo, don't ever let her go."

"Virg? Did you love someone too?" 

"....... No. Not the way you do. I had relationships but not anything even remotely like what you have. And besides, it's a little too late for me now anyways."

Gordon couldn't argue with that, but he still wondered who it was that caught his brothers eye. Then again, it wouldn't do him any good dredging up old wounds for no other reason than being nosy.  
Only when Virgil got comfy and the immediate signs of pain marched across his face did Gordon know exactly what he needed to do. Pulling his chair forward so close that their knees actually touched, Gordon took Virgil's IV ridden hand in his and with gentle strokes across a pale hand with his thumb and the rest of his fingers holding his hand hand firmly, Gordon rode out the storm. 

He couldn't find the man anywhere.  
Normally, he would be in his room or by the piano. Hell, he could even be on the second level finishing one of his many paintings. But Gordon just couldn't find Virgil anywhere. There was one other place to look but he hadn't been down there once since he came home for palliative care.  
Taking the scenic route, Gordon entered the cavern that held his future bird and merely stood and stared. 

Thunderbird two was huge. Everything about her was huge, from the struts she was standing on to the wheels underneath each of her modules. She screamed power, even still she demanded attention. 

"You can never get enough of her. I for one sure can't."

He had to smile at that. As cheesy as it was, each and every single one of the brothers had an infinity for their respective bird but Virgil's was almost bordering on the supernatural. He understood exactly what she was capable of, even more so than most. Walking over and around the trailer that pulled out the remaining modules, Gordon wasn't surprised to see Virgil sitting on a nearby crate, his thunderbird hat, as he so lovingly coined it was folded neatly in his lap while his eyes roamed over his green behemoth of a machine. 

"True, although I'm usually either awaiting to be dropped off, picked up or waiting for deployment in her module. But even I can admit that she's something." 

"Mmm. Gordon, you doing anything right now?" 

"No. Why, what's up?" 

Groaning as he got up, Virgil removed from his pocket the key to his bird and all so gently manhandled Gordon's hand so it was palm up and placed the key in his hand like it was a diamond. 

"I haven't been down here, not once since I came home. This may be my last time around her while I still have the strength to come unaided. Fancy taking us for a little flight? I got clearance from dad, but I would like to be in the air."

Looking down at the key, Gordon could understand the need to escape and quite frankly, he wouldn't mind taking a little trip with his brother without a rescue pending. Plus, he had to begrudgingly admit, Thunderbird two did hold a little place in his heart. Even now more so considering she will be his soon… 

Smiling softly, Gordon turned and lowered her lift and wrapping an arm around Virgil's slightly trembling shoulders, took his first main steps as the new owner of his brother's bird. 

There was nothing quite like being in the sky. He would always be a child of the sea but he did see the appeal of being so high up above everything. It's no wonder Scott and Virgil love being up here as often as they try. 

Speaking of Virgil, the man hadn't said a word since they took off. His brother was currently laying back beside him, his booted feet up on the dash. He had his eyes closed and his hands folded across his stomach. He truly looked at peace, all things considered. 

"Gordon, I can feel you staring at me when you should be paying attention to your flying. Speak."

"In my defence I do have autopilot engaged. And I've only just began staring at you. I, I don't want this bird Virg. I want you to still be in charge of her, I want it to be you picking me up in this very chair. I want you to keep fighting this. I don't want you to go. But, I also understand why you are doing what you are doing, I also want to help you in anyway I can. I also respect your decision to stop. It doesn't mean I like it though, or approve for that matter. But I do understand. I guess this is my roundabout way of apologising for my behaviour when you first told us that you have ended treatment. I'm sorry for avoiding you for those weeks. I'm sorry for not supporting you when you needed me to do so. Can you forgive me?"

Smiling softly, Virgil merely stretched his hand across the gap between them and that was all Gordon needed to take his brother's larger hand in his own. That hand that held so much strength and power and yet was as soft and gentle as a newborn's when need be. 

"There's nothing to forgive Gordo. But if you need it then it's yours. I don't have a deathwish, contrary to the fact. I just don't have enough fight in me anymore. I've given all I have and yet it's never going to be enough but I don't want to die. But I was given a choice and I chose to be surrounded by my family and honestly? I can't think of a better way to go. Just promise me that you'll look after my girl and all is water under the bridge."

"You have it big brother. You'll always have my word."

Chuckling softly, Virgil gave their hands a quick squeeze before telling Gordon to give them one more flyby before returning to Tracy Island. And all Gordon wanted was for more time than this. 

It felt nice to have Penelope over. She rarely came by, what with her busy social life and requirements, but it was always a nice surprise when she could drop by.  
When he had called firstly to tell her of his Brother's illness, Penelope dropped everything and came straight over. She had been just as devastated as the rest of them but Virgil turned her down, saying something on the lines of being needed somewhere else. Gordon knew the pair had a quiet walk around the island but he didn't know what went on between them. All he knew that when she and Scott helped Virgil back to bed and she came by his room, her eyes were red and she promised that she'll see to it that Virgil gets whatever he needed. 

Lying down on his bed with her curled up beside him, Gordon wasn't sure if he wanted or needed anything else. He spent several hours with his brother, not to mention the borrowed years given. On top of that, he and Penny became official, much to the groans of 'it's about time!' from his family. And yet, he wanted to check up on his brother again, to go and see him asleep, to see his diaphragm moving in time with his breathing. But then his was given a painful reminder that even dying men needed sleep. So it was with a gut lurching feeling when a knock on his door followed by a tear stained face of his only little brother that Gordon knew for certain what he wanted. 

He wanted his brother back. 

And not even the warm arm around his shoulder, nor the warm body in his bed could erase the goosebumps that had risen. 

TBC


	4. Alan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted to fly even higher now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.
> 
> Sorry for the delay, I have been writing this, then deleted some paragraphs, only to rewrite the exact same thing again with a few tweaks here and there. 
> 
> I have the next odd four or five maybe more chapters planned which I'll probably start writing in the morning.
> 
> Again this is written then posted so mistakes are mine and mine alone. 
> 
> Thanks again for the interest and comments and kudos. 
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter and hopefully I'll have the next one soon.
> 
> ^_^

Time to say goodbye part 4.

Full disclaimer applies. I don't own the thunderbirds, their characters or their world, nor do I intend to profit from them. All rights belong to the Anderson estate. 

Five years ago. 

His feet were hurting. The only thing that kept him from complaining was that he wasn't the only one with this infliction.  
Oh the joy of wearing new shoes without the hindsight of breaking them in first.. 

Alan couldn't really complain much though, all of his brother's made their rounds to various elites at the function, the only reason he didn't fully participate was solely down to his age. He was quite simply, too young to know much. He's as smart, but ultimately too young for this particular sort of thing. 

Gordon was speaking rather loudly to Scott and John about his so called 'amazing time' with Lady Penelope. Well, more like he was exclaiming his happiness and his two older brothers had no choice but to listen, considering Gordon had looped his arms through theirs. 

He honestly couldn't understand what the whole point of being here for several hours when all of this could've been handled via videophone. Sure, he knew that this was also apart of their legacy, but he at least thought that they had more time to explore the business side of IR then to do so right now. 

"Don't sweat it too much Alan. I thought the same the first time dad had dragged me and Scott to one of these things. Just be grateful that this isn't a board meeting. Now those things are enough to drive you insane."

"If that's the case, then why are we going too? I mean you, Scott and John are the eldest so why are me and Gordon getting involved so early?" 

"Well me, you, Gordon, Scott and John aren't getting any younger and so it stems to reason that eventually we're gonna hang up IR and so we need to get more involved in the financial side if we want to keep the lights on at Tracy Island."

Alan puffed up his cheeks in defiance which caused Virgil to laugh, placing his hand in his hair and ruffled it which caused Alan to try and fail to remove the appendage from causing more damage. Eventually Virgil relented and gave Alan a one armed hug while carrying on walking towards their car.  
He wanted to protest that he didn't need the silent reassurance that his brother was giving but secretly he liked it. 

He could honestly have this moment forever, if given the choice….. 

The sound of puking and the groaning that often accompanied it was common ground around the island now. It was unavoidable and had served as a grim reality for what would eventually be their new normal. It was the same thing, his brothers would wake up, go through their usual routine and make there way down to the kitchen for breakfast. Then whoever was scheduled to accompany Virgil would get him up and then fly out to the mainland for several hours. Upon  
returning if it wasn't Scott going with him, they would find the eldest who would then guide Virgil to his room where he will stay for the remainder of the day. 

Scott would make an appearance but only to grab some sustenance for himself and his ill brother, more often than not having to force feed the poor man. Lack and loss of appetite was to be expected but the only reason Virgil hadn't shrivelled away to nothing was due to Scott's determination to not let that happen. 

Making his own way to his room, Alan was a little taken aback at what he was seeing. Sitting down by the wall with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around them, Scott looked so small and yet he looked oddly fierce, as if were keeping watch. 

"Er, Scott? What you up to? And what you doing sitting down in the middle of the hallway?" 

"Waiting on Virgil. He's taking a shower but with the drugs still in his system he tends to act like he's had one too many. I'm merely taking a precaution just in case he faceplants the floor." 

No sooner had he finished explaining himself had Virgil finally finished his shower and immediately Alan could understand Scott's concern. Virgil was completely ashen. There was a thin layer of sweat across his brow and there was clearly a fog in his eyes, judging by the dazed look he was sporting. He certainly didn't have the appearance of someone who had a hot shower, if anything he looked as if he needed one instead. 

His brother blinked once then twice before immediately turning around and throwing up. Alan just about held back a grimace while Scott dived straight into the fray. The door was wide open so Alan had front row seats to Virgil's misery. He was hugging the toilet bowl as if were a long lost friend or one of his family and Scott was sitting directly beside him, one arm rubbing soothing circles across his back while the other giving his neck a gentle squeeze. 

"That's it, get it all out of your system, don't try and fight it. Alan? Do me a favour? That wash cloth on tub, run it through some cold water will ya?"

Alan blatantly ignored the smell emanating from the toilet and he definitely ignored the groans and near sobs and made quick work on doing as he was told. Scott just about thanked him before aiming his laser focus back to Virgil. Easing him back and away from the toilet, Scott reached over and flushed then took care of cleaning up his brother. Alan had only just noticed the open bottle of mouthwash conveniently beside the radiator and it didn't take much for Scott to reach over and hand it to his still pale brother who took it without so much as a complaint. 

Once he knew that Virgil was going to be alright, Scott with Alan trailing right behind him, helped Virgil to his bed where he would most likely be staying for the duration of the day and possibly night too. Once the door was closed, only then did Alan say something.

"....It's...It's getting worse, isn't it? I mean before he went a few hours until the food came back to greet him but now it seems as if it's happening more. Is there anything we can do to help?" 

"No. The treatment he's on is an aggressive one. He's, Virgil's organs have near enough metastasized in cancer, we're just trying to get rid of as much as possible. It doesn't help that the cancer had spread from where it originated from. Believe it or not but this is the best we can do to help. Wish I could tell you differently. If you'll excuse me, I've got to have a word with dad."

And with a firm squeeze to his shoulder, Scott was gone, leaving Alan looking backwards as his eldest walked away.  
Looking more and more lost as the minutes went by. 

Of all the things Alan was expecting when he entered his room, Virgil sitting like a buddha on his bed drawing away without a care in the world wasn't one of them.  
It was surprising to say the least, for one thing, Virgil barely did anything these days apart from eating when being forced to by Scott, then proceed to throw up hours later or sleeping. He didn't even touch the piano all that much. There was less and less of the Virgil they knew as the days went by following his decision on palliative care at home but he still kept his strength, his still impressive muscles, despite not using or really needing them. But he lost his artistic spark. Until now at least. 

Virgil wasn't sporting one of the many hats that Gordon had gifted him so Alan could see his newly grown hair. Even though there wasn't much growth compared to before it was shaven, what it lacked in growth it certainly made up for in terms of thickness. Virgil's usual hairstyle was there, albeit with a lot less hair product. 

It was amazing how certain things can be brought to light, just by watching his brother do the most simplest of things had Alan truly realising how much steel Virgil had in him. True, he had seen him dive into a burning building, rock slides, hell they even attached a bomb to a comet while still connected to the huge rock when Thunderbird three got stuck.  
And yet, not once has seen Virgil cry or sulk or even give up. He never once complained about his situation or made any snide remarks, he just got on with it and that is what struck Alan the most. Virgil was accepting his luck and getting on with it. It was admirable, courageous and yet, Alan was pissed off by it all. And apparently it showed. 

"Alan? You look as if you're about to blow a gasket. What's wrong?" 

"Why aren't you pissed off? Why aren't you mad or I don't know, yelling at the world?! I don't get it! You've been calm and cool and whatever else and yet you haven't raised your voice or anything. How come? And why not?!" 

Sighing lightly, Virgil finished the last few strokes of his pencil before putting the pad down and stared straight into his little brother's eyes. 

" Because all the tears and tantrums. The anger and sorrow won't change a thing. I figured I had two options. To curl up in a ball and cry and shout until my throat is red raw and do so all over again or I can make a stand and fight this for as long as possible. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from adjusted or even remotely fine.  
I'm angry and sad, but only because I'm putting you and our family through unimaginable pain and nothing I can say or do can ever make it better. I have to believe that how I'm coping and dealing with this will make it even just a little bit easier for you, knowing that I gave it my all and not just lying there taking it. I have to believe that Alan."

Smiling softly, Virgil got up and gave Alan a much needed hug before leaving to find Scott. He was nearing his limits and he knew that above all else, Scott needed to see him, if only for a little while. 

Watching his big brother go just hurt even more but immediately Alan realised that Virgil left his drawing behind. Leaning over his bed to retrieve it, Alan was taken aback by the image.  
A drawing of his bird leaving the island with a message neatly written straight through the ignition trail left behind as the red rocket soared through the atmosphere. 

'Never forget what you are capable of. Of who you are, the legacy we leave behind. Of the journey's yet to be taken. Never be afraid to soar higher, for the stars are in your grasp. Virgil.'

Fewer words had never made him as happy as how he felt reading them. That's why this hurt so, so much. Why watching his dad run down to the beach. Why he saw John kneeling by Scott's side and gently helping his dad remove Virgil from his arms. He turned, fully aware of the tears running down his face, aware of the fact he couldn't see through the blur of those that haven't fallen yet but soon will. 

Why he couldn't, didn't have the words when he went into Gordon's room. 

Why he couldn't, for at least another minute, soar up to the stars and take Virgil with him. 

TBC.


	5. Jeff : part one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't what he wanted to come home with...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there.
> 
> This took a while to write so apologies. 
> 
> I have decided to split Jeff's part into two as I l knew that I wouldn't be able to fit almost everything I wanted to in one chapter and be satisfied with it. I may have another two parter also but I don't know for sure if that will happen. 
> 
> Thanks for the interest and kudos, they are very much appreciated. 
> 
> Hopefully I'll have the next part up soon as I'm just about to start on working on it.
> 
> Again this is written and posted, so mistakes are mine and mine alone. 
> 
> Thanks again and comments of any kind are welcome.   
> Enjoy!
> 
> ^_^

Time to say goodbye part 5.

Full disclaimer applies. I don't own the thunderbirds, their characters or their world, nor do I intend to profit from them. All rights belong to the Anderson estate. 

Jeff was a proud man. He had married the love of his life which in turn gave him five beautiful sons. He had a successful career and business which in turn allowed him the means and opportunity to create his sixth child. 

International Rescue. 

The world over knew of his name, his sons and of course the Thunderbirds. They inspired hope when all hope seemed lost, they were the lifeline for all those who needed them. And truth be told, they were needed a lot. 

He didn't make the decision likely when he boarded the zero x, he knew that the chances of the flight control being taken from the hood and given back to him were slim to none but he did so because that's what Tracy's did. They helped those who didn't have the means of helping themselves. 

Coming home after being in deep space for eight years for a bizarre feeling. He couldn't fault the family for assuming the worst, nevertheless he was so proud of the way they kept going, kept IR running. They kept themselves going. The Frank discussions they all had left the air tense but the words spoken were needed to be told and Jeff knew he had to hear them. 

John, Gordon and Alan had said there piece and had made their peace. Alan was still getting used to having his dad home and Jeff knew that the learning curb was there for both of them but he would respect whatever Alan needed to do to find his new normal, a new normal all his boy's evidently needed.

And so it just left him with his two eldest who clearly had more things to say to him. Virgil had, as compassionately as usual told him that they had managed for eight years not knowing what had happened, only knowing that his dad was taken from them. Virgil had said that they can't just go back to the way things were, with Jeff being in charge and his son's marching to his tune. His son told him outright that it wasn't fair on him, his brother's and more importantly, on Scott. His brother took charge because no one else can or could. Scott just sat there wide eyed and amazed that Virgil would speak his fears, fears he wasn't even sure he knew he had, he was just grateful that it was Virgil that was saying so, God only knows that if were him saying that he probably would've come off as selfish. 

Jeff for his part just sat and listened. He had no right to just assume that command and control would automatically be given back, he understood what he was being told and when Virgil had said his piece he merely pulled Scott into his arms, hugged him tight and spoke directly into his ear. 

'You have done more than what was asked of you. You held this family up and kept IR running. This venture will always be my dream but the Thunderbirds are yours and always will be. You have earned the right to call the shots Scott. I would never dream of taking that away from you. But, if you need me to step in then I'm here but I have a feeling that it won't happen. You've done well. I'm always proud of you, always.'

The look of shock and happiness on his eldest son's face was worth more than its weight in gold and Jeff meant every word he said. He was immensely proud of Scott and what he had managed to do the past eight years. Shamefully so, he was more proud of him than the rest of his boy's. 

Don't get him wrong, Jeff loved each of his sons equally but Scott was his first born and regretfully held the most space in his heart, a painful fact that Virgil pointed out to him in Gordon's stead. 

The rescue had been difficult and injuries were recorded, particularly Virgil and the knock to his head. They had listened and listened as Jeff proclaimed that he was proud of the job his sons had just completed but neither he nor Gordon had missed how their father had added extra shine to Scott's achievements, as if he had done everything all by himself. Scott was wincing rather openly at the amount of praise being heaped upon him and at the corner of his eye he could see Gordon inching closer to losing his temper and Scott was just glad that John and Alan weren't hearing this too. Thankfully Virgil was there and took control of the situation. 

"Gordon? Could you get me another ice pack please? I don't want to risk getting another one with the way the room is violently spinning. Thanks."

Gordon just glared at his dad before landing a comforting hand on his shoulder before doing as he was told. 

"I really need to have a little talk with Gordon about that new attitude of his. I know I've been gone a while but I know I raised you a lot better than that."

"No dad, it's you that needs an attitude adjustment. Not Gordon, compared to you he's a Saint."

All Jeff could remember at that point was anger. Anger that Virgil had the nerve to speak to him that way, head injury or no he was his father and he deserved respect. But before he could even begin scolding his son however, Virgil clearly had other plans. 

"Look I'm all for you doling out praise and you know that's not why we do this, but Scott alone isn't the reason IR works. We are all apart of the enterprise, we all go out there risking our lives and often our sanity to keep this going. I'm happy that you like to believe that he's your golden child and that as long as Scott's around then your world can keep on spinning. 

I'm absolutely thrilled that he's the center of your universe but we exist too and we would very much like to be acknowledged for our part dad."

Scott knows that sarcasm and Virgil just do not mix, Virgil didn't have a mean steak and he wanted him to dial it back a little, as much as their dad deserved half of what he was being told, they both know their dad had a temper and sure enough it looked as if he was reaching his limit of exactly how much he was willing to sit down and take.   
Unfortunately his warning came at the same time as Jeff's lit fuse went off. 

"Virgil…"

"You better watch your tone son. You're treading on thin ice as it is. You're lucky that I can just put it down to the bump you took. Sleep it off and then we can talk like adults instead of you being petty." 

'Oh wrong thing to say dad'. Scott was full blown cringing and he knew that Virgil and his infinite patience had just run out. Virgil just gripped the ice pack tighter against his head and Scott winced at the pressure that Virgil was placing on his bump, he was even gripping his hair tightly too. He would be lucky if he didn't pull his hair out. 

"Excuse me. I'm being petty am I? Who the hell did you think was flying Thunderbird two to the rescue? Who did you think was clearing up the mess the landslide caused while Scott took control of the evacuation protocol? Who exactly did you think was shipping the injured and the scared to the local EMTS? What did you think the rest of us were doing there?!?! I'm all for your amazing belief that Scott can do everything you can and I'm proud of him too. But even you can't be so short sighted to realise that he can't do everything. Scott may carry IR but we carry him!! I carry him, his fears and his command. I've been there holding him up, helping him to help us and to carry on when we didn't know about you! I was there dad, not you and I saw first hand what losing you did to him and our family. I was here! And you have no right to say that Scott did it all!!"

Jeff just sat there in pure disbelief at what he was told and immediately regretted what he had said. Movement in the corner alerted him that Gordon had returned with the requested ice pack and that he didn't return alone. His mother was there and apparently she knew everything that had happened. 

Oh hell..

"Virgil…I'm..." 

"Scotty, you and Gordon help get Virgil to bed. We are starting the concussion protocol just in case. Scott you'll take the first shift. Me and your father need to have a chat."

Scott numbly nodded as he and Gordon helped Virgil off the couch and judging by the way he looked green all of the sudden they needed to take it slow, lest Virgil either threw up, passed out or both. They just turned the corner by the time they heard Sally let rip into her son. Even Jeff couldn't match his mother and they were intimately aware of that. 

Still Gordon had to say something. 

"Thanks for sticking up for us Virg, if I had said half of what you did I'd probably be sent packing." 

Virgil merely smiled but Scott spoke for him.

"I would've spoken sooner but Virgil beat me to it. I'll speak to dad as soon as you take over watching Virgil. For now let's get him settled."

And that was all that was said until they got Virgil down for the night and Scott went to confront his father. He had a few home truths to tell also… 

He wanted to let rip into his father for what he had said. Oh how he wished he had the chance to but one look at his grandma and Scott knew he had missed his chance. Their dad looked like he was whipped. The pure shame he was reeling in was palpable to him and Scott was merely in the doorway. As much as Scott knew he had to say something, the truth was his grandmother had probably said everything he wanted to and even more so, that left Scott slightly disappointed but relieved that his father was corrected and headed to bed. 

Morning came and to his surprise Virgil was sitting in his dad's chair. Not so surprising considering the amount of time he had done so but what did shock him was the fact that his dad was sitting on the desk himself and looking at peace. Whatever their grandmother said clearly worked. 

He just wished this peace would last. 

Jeff wished the same, unknown to his son of course.   
Little did he know how wrong they both were.. 

It had been a few months and the rescues kept piling up. The world was still a dangerous place despite the advances in technology and IR was certainly earning its keep. Jeff felt deep pangs in his chest everytime John called down with a new rescue. The pang turned into an ache when his sons came in looking exhausted but Jeff knew his boy's wouldn't ignore a call for help. Once the ships took off however, Jeff called John down and told the GDF that IR was taking a quick breather whether his sons agreed to it or not. They needed a break and he was going to give it to them, forcibly if need be, they had brief reprieves but they simply weren't enough anymore. They were reaching their limits and Jeff had enough. 

There were arguments but they resided to the fact that their father had put his foot down and begrudgingly each of them went about their business, they either caught some shut-eye or tinkered with their birds but no one went out on a call. Jeff finally felt at ease until he spotted his son looking lost.  
Virgil was staring intently at his piano as if he had only just become aware of its existence. 

Jeff had been getting steadily more worried about his son for a few days now, both Thunderbird two and incidentally Virgil had been getting more and more callouts specifically for them and he knew for sure that Virgil hadn't been home for at least two days prior to the time out. 

Walking over to him, Jeff gently eased Virgil onto the piano stool before he knelt down so they were eye level and spoke. 

"Virgil son? Perhaps you should get some sleep. You look dead on your feet and I very much doubt playing music will help any."

All Jeff got in response was Virgil looking at him blankly. Concerned, he placed his hand against his forehead and grimaced at the amount of heat radiating from him. His frown must have been glaring because Virgil merely looked at him and simply shrugged. 

"That's just it though. I've been trying to sleep but I can't get there, it's like my mind is in overdrive. I thought maybe playing some music might actually help me unwind a little."

"Hmm. Virgil, how long have you had this fever?" 

"I don't know. A few days maybe. I kind of lost track during the rescues though. Why? Is something wrong?"

Now his frown went from concern to anger. Virgil had always been observant of his own health and that of his family, so the fact that he had been so busy that he just assumed he was simply running on fumes raised all kinds of alarm bells. Brushing his hand through Virgil's now sweat soaked hair, Jeff left him there with strict orders to stay put while he fetched him some water and Scott in that order. 

The moment he had mentioned the words Virgil and sick, hurricane Tracy immediately barreled through the house. Everyone literally dropped whatever they were doing and were circling Virgil like flies. John was sitting on the stool beside him holding a glass of water with a straw in it when it became apparent that Virgil didn't have any energy to muster for even that simple task while Gordon and Alan were leaning against his piano each with worry in their eyes and desire to help radiating of their very bones. Sally and Kayo both stood directly in front of them, both wanting to help but also not wanting to overcrowd Virgil, especially when it was painfully obvious that Virgil looked completely out of it. 

Scott and Jeff came back with frowns heavily etched into their faces and in lieu of speaking, Scott merely manhandled Virgil until he was standing and gave him a warm on armed hug while Jeff spoke. 

"I just got off the phone with the hospital, they have given us an appointment for exactly two am tomorrow morning so by the time we leave here we'll be seen, it's a good thing I threw in who we were otherwise it'll never would've happened. Scott and I are taking Thunderbird two. I know you'll all want to come but I doubt it's anything too serious. We'll call otherwise, for now though try and get some rest while we're gone."

No one said or did anything until Sally cupped Virgil's face and gave him a kiss to his forehead before ushering out the family, each hugging Virgil as they left with the exception of John who held his hand and squeezed softly. 

" You'll be OK? "

" Mmm. Scotty is coming with so I'll be fine."

Concerned, John turned to Scott who matched his frown before he nodded in affirmation. Of the entire family, all of them had grown out of calling Scott that, especially Virgil. Their grandma on occasion did but Virgil hadn't in years, not since they were kids. Nodding in acceptance John left, leaving his brother and his dad with the unenviable task of preventing Virgil from flying his bird. 

The flight was thankfully uneventful. Scott had flown with Jeff as his Co pilot while Virgil sat directly behind his brother blissfully sleeping away. He was unaware of the whispered conversation in front of him and they hoped to keep it that way. 

"I've never seen Virgil like this before dad I'm worried. What do you think is wrong with him?"

"I don't know Scott. Hopefully it's run of the mill fatigue and he just needs to rest. We'll know more once he gets checked out." 

Sighing in resignation, Scott brought his brother's bird in full final approach to the hospital. The sooner he gets seen the sooner they can get out of this nightmare. The sooner Virgil can get back to his own bed and put this all behind him… 

Test. Test and then double test to confirm the diagnosis. Jeff's patience was wearing thin with the amount of paperwork the doctor was ringing up by himself. Eventually he called in a hospital colleague who upon noticing who her patient was related to immediately chastised the man for overstepping his position and took charge of Virgil's care. 

Jeff knew by now that the doctor before was trying to put his name down as the one who treated and saved the son of the Jeff Tracy but he was only now just holding onto his last nerve, fortunately he had sent Scott to keep Virgil company while the doctor looked over everything they had administered to his son and more. 

However, if he thought his heckles that were raised would fall away once the new doctor took charge, Jeff was sorely mistaken. The frown the doctor was wearing seemed to get deeper and deeper every time she flipped through the seemingly never-ending paper work until she ceased and set hard eyes on him. 

"Has Virgil been to any demilitarised zones or disused buildings that you are aware of?" 

".... No. Not that I'm aware of. But then again, International Rescue is called to wherever we're needed. Why? What have you found?"

Sighing sadly, the doctor merely placed a hand on his shoulder and motioned her head to the door. Jeff had the feeling that what she was about to say, she only wanted to say once. 

Virgil looked amazingly well considering he spent hours being poked and prodded, then again, Jeff had the feeling it was down to the IV inserted into his arm. Scott was leaning against the wall with his brother beside him. Both had a sat up and to be honest in Jeff's opinion, looked adorable with two pairs of legs hanging off the edge of the bed.   
Both stopped talking the moment their dad and a new doctor came into the room and the feeling of dread that Scott was trying to rid himself of all came rushing back. 

"Dad? What's going on? And who's she?" 

The doctor merely shook their hands with a gentle smile before pulling over a chair and spoke.

"Good morning. I'm Dr Louise Harding, I'm taking over your brother's care. Firstly let me apologise for the treatment you had received upon arrival, rest assured that the doctor in charge will not be involved from here on out. Now, Virgil can you recall going to any DMZ areas or disused housing complexes? Going back at least five years?"

Both Scott and Virgil frowned at the line of questioning before all the colour that had returned to Virgil's face alarmingly went away, leaving Jeff and Scott to wonder if he was about to throw up. Glancing sideways, Jeff was surprised to see the Dr with an understanding frown upon her face but before he could question that also, Virgil softly spoke. 

"No. I went to disused uranium mine but I never actively set foot in it. I also haven't demolished any buildings that haven't been refurbished. It's environmental, isn't it? The cause of my fever. I'm really ill, aren't I?" 

Jeff and Scott, by the looks of it, wanted to reassure Virgil of no such thing, but something was holding his tongue in place, something about the way Virgil had numbly recounted his missions and the way the doctor had nodded in saddened confirmation. Scott looked like a firework ready to fire but it was only Virgil's linking their hands together that stopped him to. 

And Jeff would never forget the way the doctor confirmed his worst fears or the way Scott was getting louder in his denial and his demands of them checking the results again. 

"I'm very sorry. But the test revealed the presence of cancer to the lungs." 

TBC.


	6. Jeff : part 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He made his peace. He had too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello again!!
> 
> Im soo sorry for the late delay but as you all will undoubtedly know, we are in the middle of a pandemic and that's enough to drive anyone with unease.
> 
> I hope everyone is well and looking after themselves, both physically and mentally 
> 
> I had this half written out then I went back a bit and deleted then added more to it. Hopefully it's worth the wait. 
> 
> I already have the next chapter planned out and hopefully I'll have it drafted up and ready to write out soon. Thanks again for your interest, kudos and subscribes to this, it means a lot. 
> 
> Again, any faults are mine and mine alone, so please feel free to let me know if there is anything I can do to improve this and whatnot.
> 
> Thanks again, I hope this is still interesting as I hope it is.   
> Until then, enjoy and stay safe. 
> 
> ^_^

Time to say goodbye part 6.

Full disclaimer applies. I don't own the thunderbirds, their characters or their world, nor do I intend to profit from them. All rights belong to the Anderson estate. 

Flying back to Tracy Island, Jeff couldn't help but recall the moments leading up to returning to the cargo ship and the numbness of it all. 

Scott was in full blown denial. He shouted and screamed until his throat ran raw and probably would've continued had Virgil not cupped his face in his hands and shook his head and whispered softly 'enough'. Scott had all but deflated into his little brother's arms who held him tightly, even under the immense pressure of his diagnosis. 

Both himself and Dr Harding watched on as Virgil calmed his brother down enough that they returned to their original position on the patient bed and continued the rest of the appointment. 

He barely digested what was told, the course of action needed to be taken and the treatment plan ahead. He hardly remembered what the doctor said about the type of cancer his son had and what probably caused it in the first place, all he did remember was the way Virgil took it in his stride, how his shoulders were tense with the knowledge but somehow he refused to be swamped down by it. How Virgil kept an arm around Scott's shoulders when it became too much for his only big brother to handle. 

How cold it felt sitting themselves down into Thunderbird two and starting up the engine when Virgil broke the silence. 

"Dad, I need to tell everyone all at once and in person. The longer we drag this out the harder it's going to be on everyone."

Nodding in agreement, Jeff looked at his Co pilot and knew that Scott was in no position to help out if needed. Laying a hand on a very tense shoulder, Jeff gently pulled Scott out of his chair and practically manhandled him so that he was near enough sitting beside his brother who took his hand in his own and he held on strongly but lovingly throughout the entire flight back. 

Jeff knew he was dragging his feet. He knew he was delaying the inevitable and the moment he set foot in the lounge area and the truth came out, his family would never be the same again. It was completely different as to when he disappeared and everyone thought he was gone, and how could they not? The explosion looked destructive and his family had no other reason to believe otherwise. But this was something else entirely. They had just found their new normal throughout the endless rescues and subsequent break, this new bombshell will have far reaching consequences that Jeff wasn't looking forward to seeing. 

Glancing behind him, Jeff could see the same mindset in Scott. His eldest had his face buried in his hands while Virgil was running one hand soothingly through his hair while the other repeated the same pattern on his back. Gradually he could see the tension leaving the shoulders of someone who was pushed too hard, too fast throughout his life and yet has managed to stay on top of it all. Until now at least. Looking up, Virgil gestured with his head to give him and his brother a minute which Jeff accepted too.   
If he was being honest, he would've asked for an hour. 

Numbingly walking off the hatch that lowered him down, Jeff took three steps away before he turned around and just stared at the behemoth that is Thunderbird two. She hasn't been of use since the mandatory break was issued and Jeff knew that once Virgil began his treatment, she would be the one who would take him, she was the only one who could. He didn't want to think of the alternative to that. He wouldn't. 

He was making very little headway when it came to him walking, in fact he was dawdling. There was no other way to describe what he was doing and yet for once in his life, Jeff couldn't find it in himself to be bothered or care for that matter. He knew he was being a hypocrite, having told his sons all their lives not too, to keep persevering, to keep going no matter the road blocks that may lay ahead, but every fibre in Jeff's being was simply telling him not to care. The moment he turned this corner was the moment he and his family's lives will forever change, and despite that Jeff couldn't find it in himself to move. Leaning against the wall and allowing his head to bounce off the wall, he could just about make up the sounds of his two youngest finishing off a clearly heated discussion when his middle son interrupted. 

"Guys enough. Thunderbird two has returned and I sincerely doubt that Virgil would love a headache upon coming home."

Oh a headache would've been the best diagnosis ever, hell Virgil probably would've appreciated the distraction. But that wasn't going to be the case, not by a very long shot. 

Jeff knew that John was trying to help, to keep everyone calm, but deep down in the very pit of his stomach, he knew that this would be the moment when their whole world will inevitably change.   
That International Rescue will change, and nothing will ever be the same. 

Never again. 

Never will his second son take flight in arguably the most well known of Thunderbirds, never will his son grace the home with his music and art. Never will he hear his son's voice, see his eyes, his smile.. 

There were so many 'never' moments to come and he never wanted this. 

Never. How ironic. 

Pushing himself away from the wall, Jeff took a deep breath, then three more before he entered the room. It was time to face the music… 

"I can't go in there. I can't go and face our family and know that I'm breaking their hearts all over again. Virgil, please don't make me go in there. Please?" 

Virgil could count the number of times his eldest brother had begged to do something on one hand. It wasn't stubbornness or pride, nor was it a point or chance to prove doubters wrong. Scott only begged when every fibre of his being was telling him that he couldn't do it. Couldn't face up to the task at hand and knew that he would be raking himself over the coals if he absolutely had too. The last time he begged was when he had to attend the funeral of his mother. Even then he felt like he was pulling teeth, but still, Virgil knew that if Scott didn't go, he would have regretted it for his entire life and Scott knew that too. But now? Now Virgil couldn't really blame him. Hell if he had a choice? He wouldn't mind probably staying here also. 

"OK. OK stay here for as long as you want or need to. Just promise me that when our brothers come and see you as they inevitably will, that you won't shake off their support. You need them as much as they will need you. Promise me?" 

"...."

"Scott? Promise me."

"...I. I promise."

Nodding in satisfaction, Virgil bent down, gave Scott's back another soothing rub before placing a kiss to his head before heading up the stairs and back to the main living room. Not once looking back at his bird or his brother who was silently crying. 

Jeff entered the room and was immediately greeted with his youngest running into his arms and firing off a million questions all at once before Virgil rounded the corner and all eyes were on him. Through the light of the slowly setting sun, Jeff could see just how pale Virgil had become. Just how much his health was already fading away. With prompting of any kind, He took Alan out of his hands, sat him down next to Gordon and waited till his father took a seat beside his mom before he tore their world apart. 

"I have cancer. It's terminal and has spread to my main organs. There isn't anything they can do except chemotherapy to try and kill off as many cells as possible but unfortunately it'll only be a matter of time before the end comes."

The old saying that the silence was so deafening that you could hear a pin drop definitely came to mind as Jeff watched everyone take the news in.  
Gordon was vehemently shaking his head in absolute denial, his mother was grasping onto his shirt some hard her fingernails were digging into his bicep. Kayo had all the colour drain from her face as her eyes began to water. Alan brought his knees up to his face and buried it there. And John? 

John stood up, asked where Scott was and once he was told, walked out without saying a word. Virgil didn't even bother trying to get him to stay like his family were doing, he merely told them to let John be, that he needs some space and that he'll promise to go and speak to him after he had a lay down. He watched as his son shook off his grandma and left. Jeff suddenly felt like he was marooned in space all over again. And this time, no help would come… 

Time carried on for the Tracy family. Calls made to Lady Penelope and colonel Casey were swift and to the point, Penelope all but declared that she was on her way and the colonel promised that the GDF will do everything in their power to help in their stead. She also sent her wishes to Virgil and came by as often as she could. 

Appointments came and went. Virgil had moments of good and bad days with the bad seemingly outweighing the good but they did what they could. They did their best until they just couldn't anymore.   
For every tumour that was irradiated with chemo, the more tumors the doctor found somewhere else. It was getting to the point where they were fighting a losing battle and decisions had to be made. Virgil understandably had enough and wanted to live out his remaining days at home, no more chemo, no more bouts of vomiting and sleepiness nights topped off with loss of appetite, he was done. 

His brothers needless to say had a few choice words about that and Gordon refusing to spend time with his dying brother certainly didn't help any but eventually they found a way to manage and try and cope but the bitter air of defeat was still clinging around them all, despite understanding the reasons and agreeing with them. 

It was with a deep sense of foreboding when John called in and told him of Virgil's passing that stuck with Jeff the most. He felt it in his gut the moment Virgil had died, even before his son told him. 'A parent always knew if something was bothering their child', his mom always used to say and now looking back, Jeff knew that to be true. 

Making his way to the beach right where Scott was, Jeff knelt right in front of his sons, cupped Scott's face with his left hand while his right took hold of the same side of Virgil's still warm hand and spoke. 

"He's not suffering anymore Scott. You did good kiddo. You can let go now, let go Scotty."

And Scott did just that. 

He let go. 

TBC.


End file.
